Life is a painful road
You do good things you do not receive reciprocal. Why? Because you are a private man who has sufferred many years. You dislike people and only help those who you feel you can help. Is that wrong? No. Will it work? No.
You considered a military life, but yet again it is doomed to fail, because you do not want to fight for someone or something you do not have complete knowledge about.
Now you consider government. Can you hope to achieve something great? Is there a way to make people happy?
You really don't know.
One thing is for certain. You need to study now. Another thing is for certain, there are things about yourself you must control.
Control is key, knowledge is key, ability is key.
You are 21 years, if you are lucky you will receive another 50.
You are 21 years. God help me.

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